


Spongebob Squareballs

by Elfwreck



Category: SpongeBob SquarePants - Fandom
Genre: Crack, Gift Fic, M/M, Porn magazine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-07-17
Updated: 2009-07-17
Packaged: 2017-10-11 18:30:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/115585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elfwreck/pseuds/Elfwreck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spongebob and Patrick find some naughty magazines and decide to experiment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spongebob Squareballs

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tripperfunster](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Tripperfunster).



> This was inspired by art by Tripperfunster. It's all her fault.

Spongebob was leaving the Krusty Krab just as Mr. Krabs evicted a couple of fish.

"And if I ever see your filthy pervert fins in my restaurant again, I'll… I'll…" Mr. Krabs continued to shake his claw at them as they walked away. He yelled at their backs, "I'll call your mothers, that's what I'll do!" With a satisfied nod of his head, Mr. Krabs scuttled around to the dumpster, where Spongebob was meeting Patrick, who was sleeping curled up against the side of the big green box. Mr. Krabs threw a packet of papers into the dumpster.

"What's that, Mr. Krabs?" asked Spongebob brightly.

"Oh, nothin' to worry your little head about, Spongebob. Just some dirty rags those perverts had. A regular pair of amphibians, they are."

"What's a pervert, Mr. Krabs?" Spongebob asked, but Mr. Krabs had already gone back inside.

Patrick woke up. "What's a pervert, Spongebob?"

"I don't know. But they had some dirty rags. And Mr. Krabs told me to never waste dirty rags because you can always take them home and use them again."

"Then why'd he throw them out?"

"I suppose he saw us here, and meant us to have them."

"I guess we better get them, then."

"I guess so, Patrick."

So Spongebob climbed into the dumpster and fetched the stack of papers Mr. Krabs had thrown away. These didn't look like the Krusty Krabs' normal dirty rags, which were soft (or at least slimy) and had krabby-patty grease and floor munge on them; instead, these were magazines with lots and lots of pictures.

Patrick grabbed one and waved it around.

 _Young Love: the official magazine of the Undersea Fish-Fry Love Affairs_ , it was called. A small notice at the bottom of the cover said, "For distribution only to UFFLA members and their special friends."

"I don't think you can dry dishes with these, Spongebob."

Spongebob flipped open one of the magazines. "Here," he said, "these two, umm," he paused, tilting the magazine to the left, then right, and finally turning the page upside down, "squid—these two squid are taking a shower. And there's a rag involved. Maybe this is a dirty rag that tells you how to use other dirty rags."

Patrick glanced over Spongebob's shoulder, and scratched his head. "Do you think we can do that in your shower? It looks awfully… complicated."

Spongebob agreed, so they decided to study the pictures when they got to his pineapple.

 ****

*~ Later ~*

Spongebob and Patrick, after the magazine-recommended game of naked Twister ("Right fin green! Dorsal tentacle red!"), moved onto Sponge-bob's bed for what the magazine assured them would be "a delightful evening of fun and games." Patrick asked if these games had cards. Spongebob didn't think so, although the pictures showed some little square playing pieces arranged on a table, along with a wine bottle and what looked like a tube of toothpaste.

They pinned a couple of the pages up to the wall for easy reference, and arranged themselves like the pictures showed.

Patrick, as the younger partner, was lying sprawled on the bed. Spongebob knelt between his lower legs, stroking the length of Patricks' sixth arm, the one that was usually folded inside, with one hand. Spongebob's other hand was rubbing oil into Patrick's nether orifice. Or one of them; starfish have many small, slippery holes, and Spongebob picked the one that matched closest to the location of the one in the pictures, which involved an octopus and a young fish, not a sponge and a starfish.

Patrick moaned. "Ooh, Spongebob, that feels good. Like tickling, only better."

Spongebob felt his balls harden, their corners filling and sharpening, as Patrick quivered under his hands. "I think this is a lot better than tickling."

As Patrick's cock thickened and twitched, and started to ooze white pearly drops at the tip, Spongebob checked the pictures again. "It says I'm supposed to push inside you now," he said.

"But your fingers are already inside me," said Patrick.

"I'm supposed to use something other than my fingers." Spongebob pulled his hand out of Patrick's…hole, and rubbed some of the lotion on his own cock. Patrick raised his head to watch.

"Not fingers? Are you going to put toes in me?" he asked, sounding a bit confused.

"No, that would be silly! I'm going to put my cock in you, just like this picture shows!" Spongebob released Patrick's appendage to point at one of the pictures on the wall.

"Oh! Okay, then."

Spongebob pushed Patrick's lower arms apart, and lined up the head of his erection with the hole he'd been caressing. He pushed in gently, and Patrick shuddered. In moments, he was buried in Patrick's heat, and his hard, square balls were flush against Patrick's skin. For a long moment, they held each other, and then Patrick started to move beneath him.

Spongebob thrust into his best friend, over and over, while Patrick moaned and flailed. Eventually, Spongbob grabbed his upper arms and held the to the bed in order to avoid another black eye.

"Spongebob," Patrick gasped.

"Yes?" Spongebob was also short of breath. These games were certainly a good workout.

"I'm gonna…I feel something…" Patrick shook all over, throwing back his head and groaning, as his throbbing member pulsed between the two of them, spewing white goo on his stomach and into Spongebob's many pores. The thrashing was enough to send Spongebob over the edge—he thrust once more, and then held still as he emptied himself into Patrick's…whatever this hole was.

Spongebob collapsed on top of Patrick. They both took deep, shuddery breaths as they rested.

After a while, Patrick said, "Spongebob?"

"Yes, Patrick?"

"That was a lot more fun than tickle fights."

"Yeah."

Spongebob rolled over to lie next to Patrick, pulled out a pack of cigarettes, and started smoking. That's what the pictures showed happening next. He blew smoke squares.

"Maybe I should show Squidward how to play this game. He needs to have more fun."


End file.
